"Los Vino" - Embrace, connection, caminar... (published in Gancho, November 2014)

I love „Los vino” (Otros Aires)! I’ve been hooked on it for quite a while now. I mean I had it as a ringtone for a year, I get thrilled at the sound of it, or the sound of anything similar... I listened to its lyrics, I know it by heart : ) I dance and sing it anytime and anywhere!

These 2 lines stuck with me from the beginning: 'Su abrazo en mis manos era un pincel/ y la pista un liezo' (her embrace in my arms was like a brush/ and the dance floor a canvas)

How beautiful the idea that she – in his arms – can become the reflection of a painting on the dance floor! So, for a while, in Saturday’s milonga, I’ve watched the feet of the dancers differently, following the beautiful drawings they leave on the floor, the elegance of their sliding, how they complement one another on music…

At one point I remembered that the lyrics say „su abrazo” (her embrace), so it made me think that it’s not the feet, but the embrace that creates this painting on the floor... And that the more authentic, live and vibrant the connection is, the more harmonious, colorful, playful the painting becomes...

Yesterday as I was sitting on a bench in the bus stop, under the moonlight, just after sunset, earplugs on, I hear – by shuffle’s choice – „Los vino”. A smile bloomed on my face and I „disappeared” for a couple of minutes from the station into a perfect dance, somewhere on a wooden dance floor of a fairytale milonga. This time the trigger was another line of the song: 'pero entre tanda y tanda/ dejo su ombligo junto a mi cuerpo' (but between tandas she kept her navel close to my body).

Flash back: year 2009; some tango festival; me – having just entered my second year of tango – am invited to dance; him – an experienced tanguero; me – posing into an innocent „blank mind”-like attitude... : D

I wish I could describe the preparation of the embrace and the creation of the connection! But I could only manage to explain its mechanics and that’s not the point.

I remember these:

- we didn’t step at the first sounds of the song; we just took the time to know each other and we abandoned ourselves to the music and the connection; its preparation and creation forever marked my life as a tanguera

- I felt that all my worries melted in the comfort of the embrace and I surrendered in his arms without any doubt that it was the right thing to do

- the first 2 songs were CAMINAR! What a divine caminar!... the communication was so intense that we didn’t let go of the embrace, not even in between the songs. We just waited patiently, connected heart to heart, to embark on the waves of the next song

- at the end of the tanda he led my back to my seat, me – dizzy and euphoric. I had just finished the tanda of my life so far!

The feeling of pure happiness resembled a lot to the feeling of falling in love (but it’s not that, though…)

Of course, one could „blame it” on his experience...

Yes...

BUT...

Something alike just happened to me again a few weeks ago! And this time – surprise! – with a 4 months beginner…

I could smell something from the way he invited me to dance… Ok, I’m kidding! I had no preparation whatsoever for what was going to happen! But I had my first clue as soon as he embraced me. We just stood there during the first sounds, building the connection, calming the emotions. Then we took off to a caminar that was stunningly similar to the one I had imprinted in my memory from that festival back in 2009.

It was an entire tanda of caminar and I dare place it before any other tanda filled with dangerous words like gancho, boleo, planeo, quebrada, cunita, volcada, colgada… : ) For the simple reason that I felt that univers – incredibly comfortable and full of sensations, born from the connection of hearts. I only wish it wouldn’t have been interrupted in between the songs ; )

One thing is certain, though: it really does feel very much like falling in love! : )

And I find that this happiness is one of the most valuable gifts we can give to each other through tango.

And no! It’s not just from... los vino... : )

My fantasy world (published in Gancho, October 2014)

Tanguera Journal: January 10th, 2008 – Thursday

Yesterday evening I had the tango class! I know I’ve been waiting for it anxiously because it was the first dance class this year! It’s funny…  usually I’m more anxious about the salsa lesson, but since I haven’t been dancing since the middle of December, now even the tango lesson was a reason to be all smiley and happy : )  

But I had no idea it was going to make me so ecstatic… It was AWSOME!! Oh!... I got there at around 6pm, met with the guys – Alex, Mike, Jane, Laura… We had a good laugh, talked about the holidays and stuff. Finally, the teachers – Emily and Joe – came and we began the class. We had our usual warm-up and then Joe said that boys should invite the girls to dance. I was standing (intentionally…) next to Mike… I loooove dancing with him! So, he did invite me! : D We danced for a few songs trying to practice what we’ve learned last year and I must admit I rocked! I’m so modest and all!! : ))

Then the magic happened: Joe showed us a new structure. Emily was busy with some registrations for the salsa congress that they were organizing, so Joe took one of the girls to show us, but she didn’t manage to follow… she’s new… So he turned to me and asked if I can help him. He’s never done that before! I felt important, but a little scared, too (I didn’t show that!). I did good, though, and Joe said that I must’ve done something during the holidays that I became such a good follower… Hihihi… But he was right! I mean I had big problems following before, and now, I don’t know what happened, it felt so easy. Maybe the break helped all the information settle in. Who knows?

After he showed the structure he told everyone to try it with music and he came back to me and said “Let’s see how you do on music” and we danced an entire song! That was another first : ) But the way we danced… that was the big surprise! I mean, he did stuff he never taught us before, stuff that I didn’t know my legs could do! And it was all so… I don’t know… connected and  fluid and... dreamy! 

I went home after that and began to look up videos on YouTube about and with tango. I lost myself in them until morning almost. I think it was 4am when I realized how late it was and I had to wake up this morning to go to work. But right now I don’t even feel tired and I still have that big kinda stupid smile on my face…  I have a very strange feeling, like when you’re in love and it’s so good! I don’t want to lose it. It’s enough to close my eyes and remember the dance from last night and it all comes back: the ecstatic feeling, the smile, that other world I’d discovered. I want to jump up and down with joy, but I’m at work, so I really can’t. So play another tango and just let my imagination do what I saw in all those videos last night. 

I feel like I’ve just discovered my fantasy world! : )

The importance of the follower’s response in the embrace and why the technique is not the answer (published in Gancho, September 2014)

A former student of mine told me once that she was confused about how she should respond to the embrace of the leader: some of them ask for a firm, almost tense embrace and some ask for a very loose and relaxed one. She asked me what is the true and correct answer to her dilemma and what is the technique for it. 

The truth is that there is no truth here. Or better yet, the truth is somewhere in the middle. When a follower is in the first year of her tango, she’s merely defining her posture and understanding her body, its reactions, its natural state of being. And she tends to take for granted what a leader is asking from her, especially if the leader is a more experienced one. The danger here is that usually a more experienced dancer doesn’t speak the beginner language anymore. This is not a judgment! Fact is that when we consider ourselves let’s say intermediate we start taking some of the basics for granted. For instance, we tend to forget the trouble we went through when learning the simple caminata and now that we “own” it we think it’s the most natural thing in the world and all dancers should know how to do it. So when a beginner comes along and has “existential” questions about the simple things, we have trouble explaining simply. We complicate it with all the other information that we gathered along our own tango discoveries. Therefore, when a follower is seeking her embrace, a leader’s answer – like “it needs to be more present” or “ it needs to be more relaxed” – can confuse even more that follower. 

The embrace is not a thing that can be taught very easily with technique. Ok, a teacher can explain the position of the body: where you put the arms, how you keep your head, where’s the point of contact or where the points of contact are and how they change and so on. But that helps up to a certain point. The part with the pressure, relaxation or presence is a little bit more difficult to explain. 

So, I told my student that there should be pressure neither pressure, nor relaxation, but presence. And to make it more relevant, because the term “present” is also very ambiguous, I gave her a metaphor. Imagine that you are in a conversation with someone in a café. You’re sitting in a comfy chair and the conversation is rather boring. So you’re relaxed, sitting back, your body would react slower to any kind of change in position. Let’s suppose the conversation shifts to an unpleasant topic and you get all tense. You sit straight and stiff and again, your body would react slower to a change because it would have to get out of the tension first. And in the middle of these two extremes is the state of presence. Let’s say that the conversation becomes very interesting, it’s on a subject that gets all your attention, it’s very lively and your interlocutor is very talented in telling the story. So your attitude changes, your body is more alive, your back is upright, you may even lean a little bit forward and your speed of reaction increases. You’re present in the conversation as if living the story that’s being told. It’s like the entire world around has disappeared and you’re there only for each other. 

She told me that she’d never thought of the dance from this perspective and it made a lot of sense for her. And I have her confirmation that she got compliments on her embrace some time after this story : )

It’s one way to look at things. And it’s not technique that will make your embrace memorable, but feeling and understanding the relationship we have with each partner. And, most of all, it’s about the particularities of that relationship and the presence of each of the partners in the “conversation”. 

Enjoy your embraces! See you in the ronda ; )

(http://gancho.info/the-importance-of-the-followers-response-in-the-embrace-and-why-the-technique-is-not-the-answer/)

The “first time” perspective (published in Gancho, July 2014)

In last month’s article I was talking about how life and tango are similar experiences, how the way we are in life influences our tango and also the way we dance influences our lives. I challenged you to find examples in your life and tango to sustain this idea and promised to talk about one of my own experiences. So, here is mine.

It was my second chance to dance with this amazing leader. The first time I’ve danced with him it was like in a fairytale: perfect connection, breathtaking feelings… I didn’t know I can dance-fly like that! So I was really looking forward to dance with him again. An entire year had gone by, I’ve been learning tango a lot during that time, so I had big expectations from our second meeting. A week before our meeting in the milonga I was so enthusiastic I could hardly sleep : )

And we met, he did invite me to dance and… it was a total disaster! We both knew it… we couldn’t connect, synchronize, feel … there were a tension and a frustration… We interrupted the tanda after 2 dances and that created an even bigger frustration in me. 

It was the first (and, fortunately, the last) time I was left in the middle of the tanda. It was the first time I didn’t understand what happened and why. And the whole experience led to my first (and, so far, last) big break from tango. After this, I took about 4 months off.

But “Why?” was the big question! Why did it happen like that? Why wasn’t I able to dance? Neither with him, nor with other leaders present at the event. I mean, no other leader made me feel it so roughly, but it was a pattern.

So I dug deeper. And I looked at the bigger picture. Two months before I’ve had surgery and I was in recovery, both physical and emotional. I had just moved to another town and I was still adjusting.  I was in a tensed relationship with a lot of resentment and frustrations.  All of that had an effect on my emotional state of being that I wasn’t even aware of. Until THE tanda. 

To all this I can add the pressure of the expectations, of course. 

What has this experience brought me? Well, firstly it brought me the understanding that being aware of the happenings in my life could save me the pain in tango. Moreover, it could bring healing through tango. I mean when we know we’re not feeling good at a certain moment in our lives we shouldn’t put pressure on tango to help us recover. But, on the other hand, accepting our rough moments in life, going along with them allows our tango to become healing. 

Secondly, I found out that breaks in tango are ok. They allow the information to settle in our minds and bodies, so that when we come back we’ll have the nice surprise of seeing how much we’re actually learned. And the moment of return can be any moment in time, because tango will wait for us as long as we need. 

And I also learned that tango offers a lot of first times, on a lot of levels and in many directions. As we evolve constantly, I could say that each time I listen to a song is a first time, cause it’s influenced by the very unique feeling I have in my life in that moment. The same is with every embrace, every dance, every tanda, every festival, everything in tango. And in life. That keeps us fresh and makes us better.

So I’d urge you to keep this perspective of first time in everything! 

(http://gancho.info/the-first-time-perspective/)